


A Chien in Chat's Clothing

by SombraMalamutt



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, One Shot, just a silly thing I wrote instead of going to bed at a reasonable time, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 18:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9778058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SombraMalamutt/pseuds/SombraMalamutt
Summary: So Chat Noir's favorite animal is a cat...right?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is dumb and silly and whatever. I don't think it's too shabby for a one shot. I've been having issues trying to write/finish other stories I've started and either I just don't like what I have written or I don't know how to successfully continue them so I dunno...wrote this silly thing instead. :P
> 
> I might change the title later if I think of something better. For now I guess it works. I suck at titling things.

So Chat Noir loved cats…

He had to right? At least, that’s what most people assumed. Not necessarily because of his costume. No one really knew if he had a choice in the matter. They just figured he had to like cats. Occasionally he was caught acting like a cat. Running around on all fours or meowing. If people were exceptionally lucky, they might see Ladybug scratching him under his chin or behind the faux leather cat ears on his head and Chat seemed revel in the attention, leaning into the touch like an actual cat.

Not to mention he had an obnoxious love for cat puns and jokes. For real, how could someone love cat jokes that much and not love cats?

It was a popular enough topic on the Ladyblog that Alya decided she’d ask Chat after the next akuma attack. Which happened to be at this very moment. The junior journalist watched on as Ladybug and Chat congratulated each other with their signature fist bump and caught up to them as they were about to leave.

“Wait!” she called out.

The two heroes paused mid movement and turned to face her. She ran up, panting heavily and hair mussed up from the wind.

“Ah, Mademoiselle Ladyblogger,” Chat purred, giving her an over the top bow, “What can we do for you today?”

“Well I was wondering if you had time for an interview, Chat. I mean, I’ve interviewed Ladybug a lot and a bunch of my readers really want to hear from you too.”

“Well, ummm…sure. Why not?”

Ladybug rest a hand on his shoulder. “Well I’ll see you after? Can’t stick around since…” She pointed to her earrings and they let off a shrill beep as a spot disappeared, leaving three visible.

“Right, see you in a bit Buginette.”

Ladybug took off leaving Chat with a rather excitable Alya.

“Well then,” he said, “Shall we get started?”

“Of course!” she grinned. “So! Actually, there’s been one popular topic of discussion on the Ladyblog forums. I don’t know if you ever read them.”

“Sometimes,” Chat said much to Alya’s surprise. She knew Ladybug occasionally read her blog but to know now that Chat read it too? Could things get any better? She bit back her urge to squeal in delight.

“So I take it you’ve seen everyone talking about cats being your favorite animal?”

“I have,” he chuckled, “I mean, I completely get why people think cats are my favorite animal. They’re _paw_ fully cute after all. Plus I guess the whole ‘being dressed up like a black cat’ thing doesn’t help my case much. I assure you I had no choice over the outfit though.”

“So…are they? Your favorite animal I mean.”

“Nope.”

Chat doubled over in a fit of laughter at Alya’s expression of unabashed shock. 

“Oh come on! It can’t be that shocking!” He wiped a stray tear from his eyes as they’d began to water from laughing so heavily.

“Well no…I guess not. Just…I mean…I think we all just figured since you not only look very feline, but you go around acting like a cat and constantly tell cat puns…”

“It’s not like I hate cats! They’re just not my favorite animal. If you want to know though, I act like a cat for the fun of it. It’s silly and over the top, but oh so fun! And for the puns…I just like puns. Using cat ones while I’m dressed like this was just the obvious choice.” He accentuated the last statement with a playful wink.

“So if cats aren’t your favorite animal, then what is?” Alya asked, genuinely curious.

“Dogs,” Chat said with a smirk. 

“Really?”

“Really.”

“The animal that’s basically the exact opposite of cats is Chat Noir’s favorite animal. Un. Believable.”

Chat made a rather undignified snort before breaking out it yet another fit of uncontrollable laughter. 

“Well first, I’m pretty sure cats aren’t the opposite of dogs. Second, believe it or not mademoiselle, it’s the truth. I’ve wanted a dog for the longest time. Since I was, perhaps, a little kitten.” His expression was obnoxiously sly as he said that and Alya groaned in response. “I was never allowed to have one, but I plan on getting one as soon as I can.”

Alya nodded, but was caught in the shock of her new discovery. Realistically it shouldn’t be that shocking. It’s not like Chat was required to love cats. It’s just…it was almost like she didn’t know anything about him. She supposed that was true. All she knew was that he was a pun loving superhero. Speaking of which…

“You’re looking at me like I’m _barking_ mad for liking dogs more than cats.”

Any hint of shock immediately faded from Alya’s face as she glared at him with a look of obvious disdain.

“Did you just…”

“I mean did you just expect me to hate them? I might be dressed up like a cat, but I don’t quite find them to be the _terrier_ that actual cats do. Hmmm, that _wan_ might’ve been a bit of a stretch. But what can ya expect? I’m basically a _Newfie_ at dog puns. It might take a while for me to be able to _retrieve_ every _Golden_ opportunity for canine wordplay I come across. Oh don’t give me that look or else I’ll start _howling_ with laughter!”

Obviously Chat was the only one riveted by such awful jokes. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he laughed in full force at Alya’s deadpan expression. He’d never seen his classmate look so painfully dead inside. Like his terrible sense of humor murdered her soul and left her as a shell of her former self. She just continued to blankly stare at him.

“Now I remember why I don’t talk to you,” she said as she turned the phone’s camera lens on herself, “Everyone, I’m deeply sorry for subjecting you to Chat Noir’s garbage sense of humor, but now you’ve got your answer. So, until next time this is Alya signing out and…” She paused, sighing deeply, “I…I’m done. So…so done.”

“Well since you’re done,” Chat said, unhooking his baton from the back of his suit and extending it, “I guess I’d better get going. Fighting that akuma left me _dog_ tired after all! Until next time!”

With that, he made a swift exit over the rooftops, laughing freely as he heard Alya’s cry of “Screw you Chat!” growing softer in the distance. No doubt he’ll probably never get another interview with her for quite some time, at least not one alone, but it was a thousand percent worth it.

He touched down on Marinette’s rooftop balcony, and before he could even tap on the glass to signal his arrival, she’d already made her way up the stairs and opened the hatch. From the giggles still spilling out of her mouth, he figured she’d watched Alya’s stream.

“Oh my god! Alya looked like she was about to kill you!”

“She probably was!” Chat slipped through the trapdoor onto Marinette’s bed, clutching his stomach as he fought to take a breath before he succumbed to his laughter once more. Between laughs, he managed to speak a breathy “Plagg, de-transform me”. Green light sizzled around him and in Chat’s place was now an equally giggly Adrien.

“I wasn’t aware I was _herding_ her that much with my puns!”

“Okay! T-that one’s also a stretch, kitty!” Marinette stuttered out through her own fit of laughter.

“Herding is a completely legit class of dog! But honestly though, I dunno why that was such a big deal. It can’t be that surprising that I like dogs, can it?”

“Nah, not really,” Marinette shrugged, “How much do you wanna bet though that people are gonna flip out over it?”

“And act like I’ve personally insulted them or that their entire life is a lie or something?” Adrien asked, “For sure that’s gonna happen!”

The two dissolved into another bout of laughs, doubling over and wiping more joyful tears from their eyes. Both their phones chime with notifications, no doubt from the Ladyblog. Alya had a tendency to upload her live streams in full not long after they’ve ended. Almost instantly comments and reactions began rolling in. Of course many people reacted in shock and disbelief at Chat’s choice of favorite animal, but many more laughed endlessly at Alya’s turmoil. Reading through the comments made Marinette and Adrien cackle like hyenas yet again.

Yep. Alya was definitely gonna skin a cat alive.

It was completely worth it though.


End file.
